Stomp Out Bullying
I think everyone will have a different definition of the term ‘bullying’, and their own perspectives based on their own experiences, and it’s hard to give it one solid definition, but the experiences people share can be pretty similar.
I don’t believe in holding onto things from the past, but I also don’t believe in ignoring or condoning people’s behaviour, and not speaking out about it. Primary school for the most was an amazing time for me, until it wasn’t.
I remember not really understanding what was happening at first, never speaking about it because no one else seemed to care, and carrying on like being verbally singled out every single day was normal and ‘part of growing up’ and I should have a thicker skin, but I was wrong. I was the most confident, bubbly, sociable girl growing up, never shying away from things such as public speaking and presenting, but as the torment continued, I could feel this being stripped away.
The more people laughed at me, the more the feeling of being ‘normal’ and ‘belonging’ faded, and it was crippling. What is even more crippling on top of this, is that bullying doesn’t just affect you, it affects your family and friends and everyone around you, taking in your pain. This then became another reason to keep it in, because seeing / hearing the two strongest people in my life, my mum and dad cry and sob and fight for something which wasn’t going to stop, was heartbreaking.
I remember being literally hit, screamed at, taunted and had to put up with constant racism, being made to feel because I’m a bit darker I’m disgusting or abnormal, and at such an impressionable age, these thoughts stuck hard.
The worst part wasn’t even the abuse, it was the school passing a blind eye to all this, passing these CONSTANT events off as ‘accidents’ or excusing people’s behaviour due to tough lives at home, or lack of education, or having favourites in the class that they were reluctant to shout out, no matter how blatantly horrible they were.
Therefore, at 7/8 years old, I was going to school, pretty much terrified, and knowing nothing was going to change. These feelings then manifested into dangerous coping mechanisms, I developed bulimia and began to make my self be sick every single day, so I didn’t have to face the reality’s of school, and could escape the mental torture. This then led to such strong suicidal feelings, that I was so close in attempts to taking my own life, due to other people’s actions. I used to lay in bed, at 8 years old, sobbing, seeing the pain/stress I was bringing on people’s lives who were trying to support me, and I wanted it all to stop and end, I wanted to die so badly.
However, despite all of this, I pulled through, I have the most amazing, strong, caring, and loving parents and I’m so blessed as without them there to fight for me to move school and take the previous school to court, I would of gone through with those thoughts and not have been here today. Further to this, what little friends I had at the time were also a blessing, and to this day I am so internally grateful for each one of them.
In addition to this, by writing this article, I’m trying to say that bullying is NOT okay. You should never ever be afraid to tell people, speak out about it, scream it, write it down, make as much of a fuss as possible about the pain you are experiencing, and you will hopefully have a better outcome at the time than me. There is nothing more I regret than not standing up to my self to both the bullies and teachers. Being different is NOTHING to be ashamed of. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are special.
Level 6, Media